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Prof. Dr. Sinsi
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What Are The Duties Of A Husband Towards His Wife İn The Light Of Quran And Sunnah
What are the duties of a husband towards his wife in the light of Quran and Sunnah
Hakkında What are the duties of a husband towards his wife in the light of Quran and Sunnah
What are the duties of a husband towards his wife in the light of Quran and Sunnah?
The Answer:
Let me try to explain the rights of women briefly:
“And when a daughter is announced to one of them his face becomes black, and he is full of wrath ”(Koran16 (en-Nahl)/58) In this verse God tells the view of people of ignorance towards women and reprimands it However, “He gives daughter to whom He wills, and sons to whom He wills Or he gives both sons and daughters to whom He wills, and makes barren whom He wills”(Koran 42 (es-Sûrâ)49-50)
A woman is also born as a man is born; she is an offspring of human being Parents will be responsible when they favour one of them They deserve depriviation of the Prophet since they ignored the will of the Prophet Since the Prophet knows that feelings of ignorance will reappear from time to time, he points out the education of women specifically and announces that “a father who raises three, two even one daughter properly will be with him in the paradise (Ibn Mâce, edep3)” When a daughter is born, an “akika” is sacrificed (sacrificing animal) as a thank to God, as it is done for sons She is named with a good name and has a compulsory education She learns necessary sexual information from her mother Everybody who encourages people into Koran and Sunnah includes women in this The prophet specially advised women to be educated since he knows that they will be neglected and demanded their rights protected In his age müctehid (a person who knows the religion in all ways details) women appeared( for example Âishe (pbuh) who is the wife of the prophet, is one of them)
A woman should never be discriminated in rising And when came to the marriage, she should see the nominee of husband That is her right and Sunnah at the same time If she doesn’t like him she can turn him down, insistence of the parents or the nominee of husband changes nothing
When marrying, she should puts her hand on the desk and take her “mihir”(a kind of alimony) as much as she desired Mihir is her natural right established by God and guarantee of life The field of expenditure belongs to her in legal circle She can use her “mihir” or her other property (if she has) for charities or for commercial companies, can establish a company, can be a partner of a company with share certificates, gain money and can spend it on where she wishes, because, her social security was taken under guarantee by marriage Expenses of home and hers belong to the man Her husband can’t say “buy your dresses and cosmetic with your own money” He has to gain livelihood of his wife as possible as he can If he can’t then he can not marry her If he can’t do that after the marriage, the woman has the right of the divorce
Her husband can’t affront her; he always has to remember that she is his spouse He can’t leave her home alone when he gets angry Best of men is the one who treats his wife best (See Buhâri, nikâh 43; Müslim, fedâil 68)
It is one of husband’s duties to tell jokes to his wife have fun and amuse her A man can not beat his wife for unreasonable reasons except when she ignores rights and rules (see Koran 4(en-Nisâ)/34 about beating wife) as an example see Ibn Kesîr N/257; Kurtubî NI/170,172,173; Elmalı N/1351; Ebû Dâvûd, menâsik 56; Ibn Mâce, menâsik 84; Müslim hac 147; Tirmizi, Rada'11; Ebû Dâvûd, menâsik 56; Halebî Sağîr s 395; Halebî Kebîrs 621; Canan, Terbiyes 391 The prophet prohibited people that had been away from his family for a long time from entering the home suddenly without informing beforehand In this issue, it is mentioned as a reason to let her clean her armpit and genital part, adorn herself and get ready for her husband About the issue there is a hadith:”When you came (from far away) at night, don’t enter your wife’s room so that she can use razor and shave and get clean if dirty (she can get ready for your coming)” Buhârî, nikâli 121,122; Müslim, radâ' 58, imâret 181,182; Dârimî, nikâh 32, cihâd 163; Müsned NI/298 Hadith interpretations points out that coming home suddenly at night may mean that he has a suspicion about her unfaithfulness
The husband also has the duty of sexually satisfying his wife The Prophet likened men who never thinks about his wife and does his job and finish the relation, to a rooster likened to an animal and advised not to begin having relation without caressing before (From deylemî, Gazâlî, Ihyâ N/52 (Terc N/129); also see Suyutî, el Camiu's-sağîr (Fethu'I-Kadîr ile) VI/323)
Because a man can getready and tempted by just looking but a woman can be ready for a relation after a long time of caressing A good husband is the one who can get his wife ready for it and satisfying himself and his wife too Men who never think just about himself in sexual relation must keep in mind that they have pleasure by toturing the spouse
She has the right to separate from her husband who can’t have relation in a year Again she has the right not to have relation with the husband before getting “mihir”
The treatment and expenditure of medicine belong to the husband as the alimony does If the woman has no ability to make bread he has to buy from the market If he wants her to adorn herself, cosmetic and perfume expenses belong to him too And two dresses one for summer and one for winter belongs to the husband If a disagreement should occur, features of the dress are established by local management She has the right of taking money when the husband intends to have a journey She has the right to have a separate bed during her menstruation days
The wife can demand a servant when necessary The wage of the servant belongs to the husband She doesn’t have to do any chores except ones that are supposed to done by the wife according to the traditions
When she needs they have agreement about the amount of the money for livelihood If she thinks it is not enough she may consult to the judge
When she doesn’t want her husband’s relatives at their home, the husband has to find a different house for her This is because that their presence can prevent their making love She even has the right of having a separate room for the same reason, because of her children except ones who are not aware of sexual relation
The woman has the right to visit her family once a week, her husband can’t hinder that She has the right to work in legitimate ways in jobs that don’t harm the husband’s rights
If she wants to go to puclic bath when she has menstruation or birth blood, the man has to give the money for it But if she is known not to be careful about keeping the body closed, she isn’t let to go
All we told till here are the rights of woman on man written in all fiqh books, and they are several examples of explained issues They are not in form of advice; they are legal rights that have sanction Today women in black sea region in Anatolia are forced to work and get tired in jobs that men can do But that is not fault of Islam; it is fault of those that keep them away from Islam
When there is a selection, it is told by many Islam scholars that women have the right of election Because there is no proof for that they don’t have such a right The selection consists of "bey’at" The Prophet took "bey’at" from women (See Koran60/12 verses and interpretations) After caliph Omer, everyone icluding unmarried girls were asked for advise about selecting the caliph (See Muhammed Hamîdullah, Islâm Müesseselerine Giriş Ist1981, s 112 (Ibn Kesîr'den nakil))
When the woman died the funeral expenses belong to the husband (For more information about the ıssues we told in summary see Ibn Âbidîn, Reddü'l-muhtâr, Mısır 1380 (1960) NI/571 vd Furthermore alimony sections of all fiqh books especially Serahsî, Mebsût V/180 vd)
As it is seen, a woman is a person who has no anxiety or problem about livelihood and a person who has social insurances as much as possible And all those issues are legal rights that can be established by court when they have disagreement In Islam wife and husband are not two sides who are trying to get each other’s right unceasingly They are parts of a unit that complement each other, help each other, support, and be source of peace and happiness Just like the Prophet’s helping the chores and making division of chores between Caliph Ali and his wife Fatima
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